You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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