There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
