I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
someone owes me an orgasm
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
