I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
