So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
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