Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize