"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Randomize
