she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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