I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
