I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
