You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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