; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
