Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
false alarm, still single
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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