I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
