yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
