Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
