YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Everclear isn't food dammit
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