Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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