careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
