I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
