I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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