The maid of honor just puked.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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