Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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