1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
