After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
