im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
