People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
