dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
