Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
