you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
