Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
