whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
