Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Randomize
