Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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