i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
