..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize