I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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