that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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