She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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