hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
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He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
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Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize