i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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