Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize