It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
