he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
pop tarts are not kleenex
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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