Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You pole danced in your parka.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
