I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
