peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Randomize
