some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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