This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
