I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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