After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
