boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
im holly from the hills drunk
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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