You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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