Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
