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• (979): View more from Texas

  Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.

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• (818): View more from California

  I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape

  (310): View more from California

  wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?

  (818): View more from California

  why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.

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  Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival

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• (760): View more from California

  And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.

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  Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.

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• (315): View more from New York

  Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude

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