we're blogging at a bar
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Bring me that man meat
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
