I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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