i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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