my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Bring me that man meat
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